a MUST read!!!

okay, so I should totally be in bed right now, but i'm WAY too wired to sleep - I've literally been shaking/bouncing for the last twenty minutes or so while I've been finishing this book... I started reading "Why Men Hate Going to Church" (by David Murrow) this week after finding it when I was putting some other books away... J had picked it up to read with some Christmas money our first year of marriage... he had really "enjoyed" it and had suggested to me that I should read it as well - which, at the time I was more than willing to, but being in the last semester of Bible school and working part time, I had a few other things that were higher priorities, so I never got around to reading it... but, this week I decided to give it a read, especially since the topic is somewhat sensitive in my life right now (not just regarding men not wanting to be in church, but women too)... so I started it - I read about 6 or 7 chapters or so the first night (I read fast and it was intriguing), forgot about it the next night (I had gotten some books from the library I wanted to read that night), picked it back up again the next night and made it about halfway through, went to bed "early" one night (I think - I can't really remember), and then picked it back up tonight after David went to bed... and now I'm HIGHLY recommending this book to EVERYBODY!!! It was a HUGE educator on men in general, and especially in regards to how men tend to view church (and people my age, too)... WOW... I think this should be REQUIRED reading for all seminary students, especially those going into the pastorate... and there truly needs to be a "women's study guide" for small group discussions on this book - the facts in this book, if applied correctly, could change the face of Christianity RADICALLY - and for the BETTER!!! I'm not going to say that I 100% agree with everything that is said in the book (I didn't read it to find what I didn't agree with - I read it to enlighten myself to the "minds of men"), but I STRONGLY urge you to find yourself a copy - or borrow one - and read it and discuss it and apply the principles learned from it!! WE NEED THIS IN OUR CHURCHES!!!!!!!

(Okay, I'm going to get off my soapbox and go to bed now... if I can manage to sleep - my brain is going a mile a minute with ideas of ways to apply all the things I've learned in this book!!)

If you've read the book - leave me a comment to let me know what you thought!!
And if you've applied anything from the book, please share that as well!!

ideas for a birthday gift??

when you're a stay-at-home mom with a fairly frugal lifestyle, you (well, at least I) have a hard time coming up with ideas of gifts for people to get you when your birthday and/or Christmas come around... I spend so much time NOT spending money on myself that I have a hard time letting other people spend money on me - especially since I can justify not NEEDING whatever the items are that on my list - after all, they usually don't fit with the frugal lifestyle I'm trying to live... not that I'm not appreciative of people wanting to get me gifts - believe me - I love the gifts, a little too much at times, probably... but for some reason I tend to feel guilty for having the money spent on me when it could be "better" spent paying bills, on something for the kids, etc... if you've ever seen one of my "wish lists" for birthdays and/or Christmas (especially in the last few years), you'd have seen a lot of "requests" for non-personal items: alarm clock, massage chair, DVDs, bedding, towels, small appliances, etc. Most of the time when I'm trying to come up with ideas for people of things I "want for my birthday/Christmas", I end up looking around my house to determine what my household (or people in my household) could use - only a few items are actually personal items - things that only I will enjoy the use of. But, you know what? That's okay with me. I would SOO much rather, if someone is going to spend the money "on me", receive something that will benefit others rather than just myself.

So, if you're looking for ideas of something to get me for my birthday, here goes:
1. support a missionary (even just a one time gift);
2. choose one of my bills to pay for the month, or even better, use the money you would have spent on me to send an extra payment in to pay down one of your debts (credit cards, house payment, car payment, etc);
3. buy something that my whole family can enjoy together - or at least something that I can share with my husband (eg babysitting money for date nights, golf membership, MI state parks vehicle pass - for our camping trip this summer/fall, One Tree Hill seasons 1-5 - yes, my husband will enjoy this too!!, iPod - my husband and I both would be able to enjoy this);
4. a swimming pool and fun water toys (even just the water toys - then we could always play with them at the lake if we don't have a pool)
5. contributions to my house fund... this would be AWESOME!!
6. ideas for a book - I need some direction on this one... too many general ideas - I need specific ideas - what do you want to read a book about? what genre would you like to read? (devotional, Bible study, "self-help", etc) any help in this area would be a GREAT gift!!
7. gourmet decaf coffees... yummmmmmy!!
8. groceries to make yummy dishes (specifically groceries that would not normally be part of our monthly budget, thus the dishes are not normally consummed at our house, but we love to eat them)
9. a ready-made at home business that does NOT include selling crap to people - bookkeeping, editing, writing, administrative duties, etc - or just a work from home position (preferable) for a company... if i could find something to fill all my "down time" with (other than playing on the internet), i would love to be able to contribute to my family's income and to the world in general! i'm just not going to sell crap to people, regardless of it's apparent value to society...been there, done that... i'm not a marketing person - i'm a get stuff done person...

Well, I think I'm currently out of ideas... if you have anything to offer, feel free to leave a comment!!

Oh yeah... and my birthday isn't for a few weeks... and it's (supposedly) a pretty big one - the big 2-5!! (but I'm not sure what's so "big" about it) oh, and for those of you who know me and know how much I love birthdays, I'm actually going to try to enjoy it and have fun with it this year... I know... that's a pretty big step for me!! so... here goes nothing!! in fact, anyone want to have a party?? don't all fall out of your seats - yes, I really did say "party" in reference to celebrating my birthday!

sewing stuff...

i'm thinking about getting my sewing machine out... thinking about it. i haven't actually done anything towards actually accomplishing this task yet... i have lots of ideas in my head for stuff to sew: bags, table cover, aprons, pillow covers, covers for my couches, new window treatments, dresses for jenny, dresses/skirts for me, etc. i'm not really sure what my material stock looks like, but i wouldn't mind finding some room in my grocery budget this month for a trip to walmart's sewing section! and i'm thinking about looking online for free patterns for many of the items i will need to have a pattern for - or finding inexpensive ones at walmart in the "easy" section! :) i'm not a skilled seamstress by any means! but, i can follow directions, most of the time, and i know how to use my sewing machine. it could be fun! now, where would i put it where i could keep an eye on jenny and yet not have to worry about her being in the way or trying to get into it when i walk away... that could be a difficult one... i'm thinking the kitchen table would probably be the best spot... i'd just have to be sure to clean up all my stuff each time i walk away from it - i should probably figure out a way to do so without taking a lot of time to get the stuff out and put it away, or it will probably just sit there and i won't actually use it (kind of like it's doing now - sitting in the bottom of the kids closet)...

that's another thing i've been thinking about - the kids closet... i need to get some of those vacuum bags for the kids old clothes so i can reclaim their closet space... right now, the floor and shelf are filled to about bursting with boxes (which are also about to burst) of their old clothes and toys that are not currently age appropriate... i'm thinking about having a garage sale on memorial day weekend this spring - i have so much stuff just sitting in "storage" in my house that i'll probably never use again (if i actually used it in the first place) that i would love to try to get rid of... plus, a little garage sale cash would be nice for doing my own garage sale-ing this summer - kids need new clothes!!

that's another thing - the swap that we usually go to is on a weekend when we might not be here - and we didn't make it to the one in september due to being due with D at any moment (and we didn't really have anything we NEEDED at that point in time)... i should probably figure out what clothes we're going to be needing for the spring/summer and make a list so i can hit up goodwill and other thrift stores over the next month or so - yet another thing to fit into the budget...

okay, enough of my rambling thoughts... maybe i should just get to work catching up with my brain - i see a long to-do list in my very near future!

Strength...

I need to write an article on STRENGTH. My audience is going to be "moms". Any ideas? Suggestions? Direction to go with this? There's no guarantee that my article will actually be published, but I am going to try to write it... oh, and it has to be submitted by Wednesday, so I need to get started on it ASAP!! This post is probably going to be my brainstorming session (at least the beginning of it)...

Strength, Moms... It takes a LOT of strength to be a MOM!! Especially a SAHM... strength to deal with your kiddos all day long... strength to not go crazy from lack of "real people" communication on a daily basis... strength to find time to accomplish all you have on your agenda... strength to be the backbone in the family - to run the household seamlessly with no one realizing all that you do to keep it running!

For Working Moms, it takes strength to leave your precious kiddos in the care of another person while you spend the day in another world completely... it takes strength to focus on your job/career while constantly wondering how/what your kiddos are doing... it takes strength NOT to call your kiddos caretaker every hour to check on them - I know about this one!! but to check on them constantly would be showing a lack of trust in the caregiver and distract you from your J-O-B... it takes strength to try to "cram" all of your household duties in and still have time for your kiddos before collapsing into bed at night... it takes strength to get up the next day and start all over again... it takes strength to manage your household on top of your job and any other responsibilites (church, girl scouts, friends, etc) that you have taken on...

sometimes, it just takes strength to say NO... NO to more activities on the agenda, NO to your screaming toddler in the store, NO to working more, NO to friends and family who want to come over, NO to yourself to slack off and indulge yourself when your family/kiddos need something, NO to your kiddos/family when you need time to yourself, NO to your desires when they will not have the BEST result for your life... saying NO takes a LOT of STRENGTH...

not knowing a lot about the ezine that will be possibly publishing this article, I dont know if i can incorporate scripture into it or not... if i can, it would be an awesome chance to share how God has given me strength to get through situations that i couldn't have gotten through without him... if not, i will need to focus more on personal strength and finding strength in numbers...

okay... time to get off the computer and get out my bubble charts!! :-D yeah for a good brainstorming session!!!

oops..

so, after sharing my plan to write 2000 words a day with you all, i have failed to do so either of the last two days... in fact, i have failed to even sit down and type anything (other than my regular daily emails and blog responses and whatnot)... tisk, tisk, tisk... i plan to get back on track today, though... the last two days have just been struggles to get through for the most part - monday was going fine til about 4:30 when i'd had the last straw with a clingy 2yo and had a nasty sinus headache putting my head into a fog & yesterday started badly, then got busy (library, bank, grocery store - all before lunch) but ended wonderfully albeit quite late (read two really good books by an author i discovered last week - Laura Jensen Walker and finally went to bed about 3am this morning)... they say that if you want to write, you need to read a LOT, so yesterday I took that to heart when I was at the library and emptied shelves of books into my bag - well, not quite shelves, but I filled the bag to overflowing - i think i got 10 books for myself and two for jenny (although, today, i decided one of the books i picked up for jenny is a bit too old for her, but the other one is PERFECT for her current reading abilities - looking at the pictures and trying to figure out the book says)... i'm really excited to get into some of my other books i got too... a few more by LJW, some by Alexandre Dumas (one of my all time favorites - Count of Monte Christo and a new one to me - Camille), a couple of others from the inspirational fiction section (my standard go-to fiction genre) and a book about finance that i heard about on another blog (Your Money or Your Life)... i know i probably got too many to finish in a week's time (we're weekly patrons of the library, due to 2s story time on tuesday mornings), but i couldn't help myself... plus, i don't get to look for books of my own very often, thanks to a 2yo who loves to run up and down the shelves... i had to take the stroller in just to be able to keep tabs on her this week (last week, she took off from the children's section and was running through the adult fiction section of the library before i caught her)... but anyways... reading a good book always makes me want to write even more (although, when i read fiction, i start longing to write fiction, but since i know i have no talent in that area, i revert back to my nonfiction writing) and reading a bad book makes me long for a good book! it's a vicious cycle that i LOVE!! okay, since i digressed immensely, i should probably end this entry and hit the books - devo time and writing time and then maybe some pleasure reading later on! - ohh... and i should probably take the chicken out of the freezer for dinner... hmm... chicken stir-fry for dinner... YUMMY!! (although, maybe i'll make teriaki chicken instead... i wonder if i have any green beans??

2000 words a day...

no, don't worry... i'm not going to torture you all with my 2000 words for the day on the blog! i was blog surfing again the other day (one of my new FAVORITE past times - you learn SOOO much!) and i came across a blog written by a publishing agent and she kept commenting throughout her various posts that she had just finished or still needed to do her 2000 words for the day... i'd been looking for some kind of tangible exercise (other than blogging every day) to be able to do to show myself that i was working towards the goal i have of being a published writer by the time i'm 30 (i also found out that this probably means that i'll need a manuscript finished by the time i'm 27 since it takes about 12-18 months AFTER a publisher agrees to publish you before you actually get published! so that just pushed my timeline up that much more!)... so, the last two nights (i've found that i write best and my brain functions the most when my house is quiet and everybody in it - other than me, of course - is asleep... sometimes naptime works for this too, but after jason goes to bed is when it seems to work the best... no tv and no kids!), i decided to see how much 2000 words really was... the first night, i was really tired and having a hard time since my head was really foggy (thanks to my sinuses), but i managed to get over 1500 words... last night, i decided to try for 1500 words and then see where i was... i made to 2319 words! (by the way... i only count the words that i write in a particular document - not the total number of words i write all day long - that would be a TON of words!!) i was so excited that i actually made it to 2000 words (about 3 full pages of single spaced typing)!! my next goal is to be able to sit down and write 2000 words on one topic - the documents so far have just been my random musings and haven't really had a singular theme or idea... we'll see how that goes... i'm just happy with 2000 right now! :)

our valentine's adventure...

this week we had decided to try to go out to eat on valentine's day... since we didn't have a sitter for the kids, i decided it would probably be a good idea to try to go for an early dinner (430ish)... we decided to drive to olive garden in fort wayne (about 40 mins away) since we had gift cards from the past two christmas's to use there... we pulled into the swamped parking lot about 20 mins to 5, and quickly realized there was no way to even get in the restaurant, let alone were we going to be able to get a table within an hour... since 30 mins is a long time to wait with jenny in an "empty" waiting area, we decided that we didn't want to wait that long, so we thought we'd try red lobster since the gift cards would work there too... thanks to our TomTom GPS, we were able to use the back streets to end up on the right side of the road passing red lobster, and as we approached it, we decided that we were going to stay on the road - the driveway was double stacked with vehicles headed in and there were cars parked on the grass... so we decided to head to the IHOP we had seen on colliseum and coldwater - as we pulled into the IHOP, we saw that chilis looked like they still had a lot of parking, so we drove down the parking lot and i ran inside... from the outside, they looked pretty empty and i had no problems getting to the hostess once inside, but she said the wait was about 50-55 mins, so i decided that IHOP would have to do... we went back across the parking lot and went inside... they looked pretty full, but they had a back section that was still empty, so they seated us there... a few minutes later they seated an older couple at the table behind me... the gentleman came over and chatted with us for a minute (asked about the kids, etc), then returned to his table... throughout the meal i could hear snippets of their conversation - observing us and another couple w/ a baby sitting across from us... at one point i thought to myself, i wonder if they're one of those older couples who likes to pick up the check for another customer - maybe they'll pay for our dinner... but since i often have random thoughts like that, i didn't think anything of it again until our waitress came over and told us we were "good to go"... i looked at her and asked if we could have our check and she said "no"... she said it had been taken care of, and she left... i could hear the couple behind me getting up to leave, and realized that my random thought had actually come to fruition! after they left, the waitress came back over and told us what had happened - she was thrilled! she said that they had made her night when they asked for our bill and that they had tipped her "crazy" - they had renewed her faith in the goodness of people... it was a pretty awesome trip, considering, and the food was delicious too! (and of course the coffee was good!) thanks to that older couple's generosity, we were able to have lunch out again today (since we had received a gift of money with a valentine's card in the mail yesterday)! yeah for yummy chinese food!

Self-Sabotage

My devotions today were about this very topic... "self-sabotage". I'd never thought about it before. Let me get my devotional, as it puts it best...

Day 11 (from Praying for Purpose: for women)

How Do You Self-Sabotage?

Are you a saboteur? Self-sabotage means that you consciously or subconsciously obstruct your own productivity in order to underhandedly defeat a worthwhile endeavor. It's how you ensure that you will not be expected to complete God's plan for your life. Most women are not even aware that they are, at least occasionally, sabotaging their success.

Could this be your story? You don't exercise, thus causing health issues; you remain addicted to sugar and keep yourself tired and irritable; you are rash and impulsive, which results in poor, irreversible decisions. Or is this more like you? You compare yourself to others and end up feeling inadequate; you aim for perfection, which inevitably leads to failure; you allow your temper to rage out of control, producing guilt and shame. What about harboring a sense of entitlement, which fills you with pride? Do you stay up too late and act like a grouch the next day? Do you overindulge at meals and then get severely depressed about your weight gain? Do you choose to be disorganized and therefore wreak havoc in your life?

WOW!! Was this lesson for me!! (See highlighted portions above.) I never realized before how much my lack of self-discipline affects how I could be living! I could feel better and look better (eating better and exercising regularly), be less irritable and sleep better (intake less sugar & caffeine), have better moods & a better outlook on life (spend more time praying and reading/studying my Bible), feel like a better wife/mother (keep up with the household duties, spend time with my kids, etc), have better self-esteem (stop comparing myself to others constantly - be happy/content with who I am). Yeah, I needed this lesson to draw my attention to the fact that I am self-sabotaging my life, especially in light of my current descent into my dark, deep depression (which I am doing better with the past couple of days - thanks for the prayers).

Now, I need to figure out a way to make myself more self-disciplined, to live a better life. Any ideas?

A little too personal for my tastes...

This post is getting too personal, but I feel like I need to write about this... maybe then I'll be able to deal with it in a positive way - and maybe get free from it!

I struggle with something I call my "dark deep depression". It's not so much a true depression, but it is something dark and deep that sucks me in every so often. I'm struggling to stay out of it right now. Basically, I get to the point where I just want to cut off what little interaction I have with humanity and crawl into a hole somewhere. I get tired of having no real relationships with people and having no "purpose" in life - having no connection to "real life" - and I just want to crawl into a hole... it's not like anyone's going to miss me anyways, since they hardly notice I'm here in the first place. Yes, I struggle HUGELY with self-esteem and self-worth (basically PRIDE). This ugliness has been a part of my life as long as I can remember, although I'm not sure if I've ever exposed it before (I think I may have brought it to light at one point at NTBI, during Homiletics), and exposing it now is causing me to take a huge risk. You see, I'm a non-emotional person. I tend to bottle my emotions inside, and since I don't have a release for them (no one to talk to about what's going on in my life), they tend to build up subconsciously until they cause me to implode. I RARELY explode. Almost ALWAYS implode. I let my unexpressed emotions get the best of me. I let them pull me down into my dark, deep depression, where I struggle to find the light of day again. I truly don't know how I get out of my depression... I'm sure that if I went back and found my journal entries (assuming I actually recorded the events), I might figure out what it was that brought me back time and time again. Don't worry... I'm not suicidal or going to cause myself or anyone else any physical pain/harm. I know too much to do anything like that - I know that God is in control and He is on the throne, and that knowledge gets me through every time. I'm honestly not sure I would have made it this far without that knowledge. I seriously wish, at times like these, that I knew how to cry. I wish I could just let out all the emotion - to free myself of the buildup and to start fresh again. I know God will bring me through it... I just hate the going through it part. But, God is faithful - He will use it to mold me further into the image of His Son, Jesus. And knowing that helps me hold on for dear life!

I don't write this so that you will feel bad for me or pitty me in anyway. Instead, I write this to encourage you - God is FAITHFUL!! He has brought me back time and time again!! He will do the same for YOU!! James tells us that all of our trials and sufferings will grow our character, making us more mature in our faith. Praise God for the growing pains that life drags us through!! May we all be so blessed by God to go through such trials that through them we come out shining in the image of His Son!!

All that to say, if you think of it, would you pray for me? I'm going to need a lot of prayer to pull out before my head goes under. Let me know if I can lift you up in prayer as well... the Christian life was not meant to be lived alone - we need each other to encourage and pray for one another and to walk together as we grow in grace.

Great deals!!

I love a great deal... like yesterday, I got $68 worth of clothes for less than $15 after taxes!! I'm always searching for the "best" deal I can find - on EVERYTHING!! And today, I started to realize that I probably spend more money than I should on things I don't really need and probably won't really use enough to get my money's worth from it... I feel like I should get rid of a ton of stuff that is just collecting dust around my house - I'm thinking about having a yard sale over Memorial Day weekend to try and get rid of a bunch of it! And I'm thinking I need to start shopping at thrift stores to get more for my money (although, I will still continue to "bargain shop" at "real" stores, too). I've already cut a TON of money from our monthly expenses by revamping my spending habits on food and other groceries... I'll have to remember to blog about that sometime.

I have a question that I've been pondering for awhile... and I would love some feedback. I'm not really sure how to even ask the question, but I'll try my best. Since I'm a stay-at-home-mom and my husband is the only one bringing home a paycheck, is it wrong to think of the money in our bank account as "ours" or should it be "his" - and, he has a "weekly allowance" for lunches and whatnot... do I (or should I) get an allowance, too, for "extras" (shopping $$, special treats, lunch out with the kids, etc)? Obviously this will vary among families and each couple will have a way that they handle this, but I'd like to hear what you think. I'm the handler of the finances, but often don't allow myself to have any money "for me", as I don't feel that it's mine to do so with and feel guilty about any "extra" purchases I make. I don't know if any of that made any sense to any of you, but if it did, or if you can help me make sense of it, I would love your input.

And now, since I've been attempting to write this for over an hour now, I think I'll quit while I'm still ahead... hopefully my brain will work better later for another post.

Blog Surfing...

I've been blog surfing this morning... here are a few blogs I found interesting:

A new way to view clothes and cut down on the amount of laundry you have to do... and here is a corresponding worksheet from the same bloggers.

Valentines' Day craft projects... making animals from various sized and colored hearts.

A US geography quiz... do you know where each state is located? (I got an 82%, but it was only that low because I held down my mouse button too long a few times and the state didn't drop where I wanted it to.)

An E-book on cleaning your house anytime of the year - without going insane! (I haven't read it, but it looks like something I'd like to read.)

Ideas on starting your kids young (preschoolers) on managing money... I'm going to have to start considering this with Jenny!!

Ways to save money when planning a wedding - doing it first-class on a less than first-class budget. (I can't wait to help my little sister plan her eventual wedding!!)

How to start a compost bin at home, for very little money! (Something I've been thinking about possibly doing for awhile.)

Keeping a home management notebook - organization in the midst of chaos.

A number of the links above are from a blog I found while surfing through various blogs: "Simple Mom". Many of her posts are brain-food for me - things I like to think about and try out for myself. Check her out and tell me what you think!

I would love to read your blogs too! Leave me a message with a link to your blog, and I'll be sure to check it out... maybe I'll even post a link to it someday soon!

Snowbank Anyone?

Soooo... I just remembered that I haven't told you my "snowbank story". (Yeah, I haven't been feeling all that "chipper" this week, so I haven't been in the "writing" mood.)

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am trying to "plan" at least two outings each week while J is working in order to keep myself from becoming stir-crazy. And thus, my Monday outing to the grocery store.

I'd never been to Aldi's before. Many people had "raved" about the great prices and ease of shopping, but for some reason I'd avoided it. (And it's the closest grocery store to my house - literally just around the corner!) But, trying to save more money and shop smart, I decided that Monday was going to be the day that I went to Aldi's.

I had done my research on the internet. I read everything there was to read on Aldi's website. I knew how their stores worked. I knew I needed to bring cash to pay for my groceries. I knew I wasn't going to find any national brands in the store. I knew to bring a quarter for a cart deposit. And I knew to bring my own bags.

So, Monday morning, I got myself and the kids around, and headed out the door around 10am. I headed to the bank to get some cash (my monthly cash allowance for grocery and other discretionary spending). Thankfully, there is a Lake City branch just the other side of Aldi's, so I didn't have to drive into town to get money.

When we got to Aldi's, I strapped David in the Snugli - LOVE the Snugli!! - and put Jenny in the cart with my quarter I had saved from the duck (Jenny's piggy bank is a LARGE goose/duck and she LOVES to feed it!) especially for this occasion. As I was walking through the store, checking items off my monthly shopping list (yes, I shop for the entire month in one shot - it saves money on all the "little extras" I might make each trip), it dawned on me... I FORGOT TO BRING BAGS!! Not having been to Aldi's before, I didn't know what this might mean - would I have to pay for bags (as I knew they offered them for $.05/each) or could I get by without having any bags at all?? I started to watch the checkout lane to see how it worked - as the groceries went across the scanner... YES!! the cashier just put them back in the cart - if you wanted to sack your groceries, there was a long counter on which to do so AFTER you checked out and paid. I was safe - no added expense for grocery bags (which I have an INSANE SURPLUS of in my pantry!!). So, after I paid for my groceries - which cost WAY less than I had anticipated - I wheeled my cart out to my van and loaded the loose groceries into the trunk.

We stopped at the bread store (just around the other corner from our house) to get bread for the month. Monday's are $.59 days - so I stocked up on 3 loaves of white bread, a bag of bagels, a bag of mini sub buns, and a bag of cinnamon raisin bread (this was $1.49) for Jason. Then we headed home with our month's worth of groceries.

When I approached my driveway, I first stopped to check the mail. Nope - nothing yet. Then I went to pull in, but thought: "What if I back in? Maybe that would make unloading the groceries easier." So, in an awkward fashion, I pulled past the driveway on the wrong side of the road, and started to back in - I think there may have been a car coming on the other side of the road, I don't remember, but I'm going to claim that there was in order to make the end of this story slightly less embarrasing. As I backed in to my snowy/icy driveway, I realize that I'm not in the driveway, but decided that my van could make it through the pile of snow/ice on the side without a problem - I'd just gun it. Ummm... not so much. Up and over the snowbank I went... and then... nothing... just spinning tires. I got out of the van to see if I could "kick" the snow out of the way. I cleared the front tire and tried again to no avail. At this point, I decided to make sure I wasn't in the road and just leave it there til Jason got home. I was clear from the road, so I shut the van off and started up the driveway to unlock the house.

A car stopped across the street and a guy got out of his car - "Are you stuck? Would you like some help?" I welcomed his assistance and went to get the shovel from the house. He shoveled out my back tire and after a few tries, he pushed me out of the snowbank. I thanked him and managed to back the rest of the way down the driveway without any trouble. As I watched him leave, I realized that he wasn't "passing by" our house. He had seen me getting myself stuck from the corner and decided to go out of his way to come help me!

I unloaded the kids and put them in the house, found an empty Stampin' Up! box that I could use to bring the groceries in the house with, and proceeded to bring the groceries inside.

When J got home from work that night, I told him what had happened. He just shook his head, glad that he hadn't needed to push the van out in the dark!

Blogging

I'm just getting into this "blogging" thing... I've had a "blog" for awhile now, but used it more as a website to keep friends and family updated on our lives. I'm learning that there is a whole world out there, a community of people who share life through blogging. And, now, I'm joining that world (something I would never have had time to do when I worked fulltime).

I truly enjoy reading other people's blogs - people I've never met, have no connection to, and probably will never meet - sometimes I laugh, most of the time I relate to what they are sharing, and often I am encouraged by what they have to say. It seems that the world of blogging allows people to open themselves up to complete strangers, allowing each person to become as transparent as they want to be, without the awkwardness that might accompany such transparency in a face-to-face conversation with the same individuals.

I'm enjoying being to just write what I'm thinking, feeling, what God's been teaching me, what is going on in my life, etc. To be free to express to my readers (if anybody is actually reading this), my dreams, my doubts, my successes, my failures, to be completely (well, maybe not completely, but closer than I've ever come before) transparent. I have found that writing is freeing. When I write, I can express thoughts and ideas that I couldn't put into words in a normal conversation. I find myself sharing things about myself that I don't think I could share in a face-to-face conversation with someone - even someone close to me.

Sadly, the majority of my interaction with people is via the internet - blogs, Xanga (which I guess is technically a blog interface), FaceBook, etc. I have very little interaction with people in my day-to-day life (although I'm working on this - making "plans" to get out of the house with the kids at least two days during the week, in addition to church on Sundays), and I have nobody close to me that I have an "intimate friendship" with... actually, I don't really have an "intimate friendship" with anybody, and haven't for a number of years. Through my experience in the blog world over the past few weeks, I have "connected" with various bloggers, joining women around the world in memorizing Scripture together (on Xanga), sharing prayer requests and joining others in prayer, and finding people with similar hopes and dreams.

If you are part of my blog world, THANK YOU for being a part of my sanity! :) If you are a part of my real world, THANK YOU for caring enough to share with me in my struggles and triumphs! And, if I can "connect" with any of you (if there are any of you reading this), feel free to share with me - your prayer requests, your thoughts, your needs, etc. I love feedback and I would love to share life with you!

Work-from-home opps??

I've been thinking about a possible work-from-home option and have done a lot of research on it. I'm not really sure if I actually want to work from home, though. Honestly, if I could do what I love (writing, administrative assistant tasks, etc) from home without having to start my own business, I would do it in a heartbeat! But most work-from-home opportunities involve a lot of work to get started (sales, marketing, etc) and require you to "be your own boss" and own your own business. In the back of my mind, I know that I do not want to go this route. And, technically, I don't need to work, but at the same time, I'm "bored" most of the time and wish I could put my time to better use (rather than sit online accomplishing very little for 10-15 hours a week). I've also thought about getting a part-time job in the evenings (after the kids are in bed) at a local retailer or something, but once again, I wouldn't enjoy it, thus making it not appealing.

Thankfully, God has provided all we need to survive (and then some) through J's job. If I worked, it would be for the "extras" in life - saving for a house, saving for retirement, vacations, special outings, etc. Thus, I feel that I can be "picky" in deciding what I want to do (if I want to do), and I can do something I love, not something I tolerate.

If anybody out there has any ideas for me, or wants to contract me to do something for them (typing, proofreading, writing, emailing, bulk mailings, budgeting, desktop publishing, etc), please leave me lots of comments!! :) I would love to hear your ideas and possibly help you in return! Oh, and if your ministry needs tasks done that I could do from home (see above parenthesis), let me know that too, and I'd be glad to help out if I can! :)

The Superbowl...

so, like a good American, I joined the party and watched the superbowl last night... although, I have to admit that i didn't see/hear most of the second half, since i was on the computer and thought that the team i was cheering for (the cardinals) probably didnt have a fighting chance at that point... i cheered loudly and yelled at the tv (the first time in a while that i've actually "gotten into" the game), i celebrated when the cardinals did well and scolded when they did poorly... i made "cheerleaders" out of david and jenny (until they went to bed at halftime), and i made jenny be quiet on the commericals... which by the way, the funniest that i saw had to be the doritos one where the guy has the "crystal ball"... i saw the "boss getting hit" coming, but didn't see the "where the boss got hit" coming (i was thinking head or chest)... i laughed hard!! anyways... when we got to the fourth quarter, i started to tune back into the game... and boy, did it get EXCITING!! i watched stevie breston (yes, i know it's "STEVE", but he played for UM, so i call him "stevie") make some great plays, & you HAVE to LOVE kurt warner!!! i mean, he was the cinderella story himself - washed up QB, just looking for somewhere to play second string, and then to lead your wildcard team to the superbowl - not to mention, he's a great, godly man off the field... just an all-around awesome person!! so the cardinals get the safety... then the TD and they get the ball back again near the endzone - i mean, for somebody cheering for the cardinals, i was on the edge of my seat at this point - waiting to scream in victory... and then... KW made the WORST play of the game... the LOSING play... KW - how could you?!?! the interception at the endzone, returned for a TD to the other end... OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! instead of screaming in victory, i was screaming in defeat... how could they have lost??!! they were supposed to win!! i can't remember the last time i cheered for the losing team at the superbowl (yes, for as poorly as i pick during march madness, i honestly can't remember the last time i didn't predict the winning team correctly at the superbowl - and i've been doing it for a few years now - like 10 or more!) BUT, i have to say that the steelers definitely deserved the win - they played hard and won on BOTH sides of the ball - so, CONGRATS to the Steelers for a great season and another SB win!