Frugal does not mean cheap...
...and I'm preaching to myself here.
Over the past couple of days, I've been doing a bunch of reading and research, and the more I read and learn, I'm determining that my definition of frugal has been wrong. I've looked at frugal as being a penny-pincher to the extreme, not letting one cent out of my pocket for anything that is not a necessity. That is what I have been trying to work towards for the past couple of months. I would get frustrated so easily with the little things that would take money out of my bank account (J eating out for lunch when he could easily take a lunch, going over my intended spending limit at Walmart for actual necessities, etc) and then my family would be bearing the weight of an upset Mommy. I've been so worried about being frugal by saving every last penny and staying in our "budget" each month that I missed the true definition of frugal. I was just being cheap.
Frugal is getting the best bang for your buck. Sometimes, the best bang is spending more now on an item that will last you longer versus spending less on something now and then having to replace it multiple times. Sometimes, spending time researching and clipping coupons is the best way to be frugal. (Example will follow in upcoming post.) Sometimes, frugal means not spending money at all, but rather spending time. Frugal helps you to get the most out of life. Cheap just helps you to survive life.
One thing I've noticed, at our house, is that our meals lack balance. This is partly due to my failure to plan for side dishes (ie veggies, fruits, salads, etc) to go with the main dish (I plan my meals a month at a time), but partly because I often don't want to spend the additional money at the grocery store. This is not only cheap, but it will adversely affect my family's health and wellbeing and could eventually cost a LOT more in medical bills and other large expenses down the road. Do you have any good ideas for incorporating more veggies and fruit into our diet without killing our monthly grocery budget?
Another area of frugality that we struggle with is "date night". We tend to not have "date night" due to the cost of doing anything. Since we don't have family nearby, we don't have free babysitting, so for us to be able to even leave the house together without the kids it would cost about $10 (minimum). That's 5% of our monthly budget for groceries & miscellaneous (non-bill) expenses. And then, you add the cost of doing anything - eating out = $25 (min); movie = $15 (min); just a cup of coffee would be at least $2.14, and how could I possibly justify the cost of babysitting if I'm only spending $2.14 for coffee! And staying home for "date night" is kind of an oxymoron - especially since it would probably consist of the same activities we do every night - sit on the couch and watch TV or a movie. All this to say, I'm not really sure what a "frugal date night" would look like for us. Any suggestions would be welcome!
Clothing is one area where frugal has won over being cheap! Thanks to a great kids consignment sale that occurs twice a year, the bestowment of clothing from friends and family, and my ability to get great deals at garage sales, Walmart, and Kohls, we are better dressed than our budget might otherwise allow. I'm usually able to dress our family for less than $75 a YEAR!! Obviously, as the kids get older, this might change, but then again, thrift stores and garage sales are always abounding, and birthdays and Christmases come every year. Thanks to all of these, my kids are dressed in name-brand clothing, and J & I have enough clothes to be able to give bags away at least once a year!
I'm sure I could probably list other areas that I struggle with being frugal versus being cheap, but now, having learned the difference, I'm going to see if I can't fix some of those areas.
What do you struggle with in regards to frugality vs. cheap? Are you frugal or are you just cheap? What advice do you have for me (& others) who struggle to be frugal and not cheap?
Labels: ashleypichea
posted by Ashley Pichea @ 11:46 AM
3 Comments:
Wow. For not paying any thought to the structure of your "essay," it is remarkably well-structured! Well written, too. You must enjoy writing.
As for being frugal... Obviously it's a bit different for me now, living in a country where most meals cost about a dollar or two, and I get gas once a week for $3. But when I lived in America and had an hourly paying job, I used to look at things in view of how many hours it would take me to work to buy it. Do I really want to work for 2 hours, just to buy that shirt? Hmmmm... If I still wanted the item after thinking about it that way, then I got it.
But I would actually classify myself as more of a "penny-pincher" than a "frugal person."
Ashley,
Thanks for the post! I often find myself struggling with getting frustrated in our choices of spending, thus falling into the "cheap" category on occasion too! In general, I would consider myself frugal (in the proper definition), simply because I have the time to invest in things, as opposed to the money. Thus, I do many things myself that others would probably pay for (i.e. gifts are homemade, we seldom eat out, etc).
One question I constantly have to come back to is: WHY do I want to be frugal/penny-watching? Is it simply to save money and stuff it away in a savings account so that we "have" money? Or is it to free up cash in order to be able to use it to further the reach of the Gospel? If I'm being frugal/cheap simply just wanting to *have* money to say I have money, then I'm not using the resources God has given me to His glory - I'm just stockpiling to make myself feel better/to depend on myself/etc. On the other hand, in our case, our budget is just very limited - thus, I choose to be frugal to make the most of the money that God has given us.
As for a "frugal" date night, since you don't have free babysitting, I would guess you'd need somewhere "free" to go, so as not to kill your budget! Here in CA, it's already 65* most days (if not warmer), but where you're at, you won't have that for another couple months! But, when it does get warmer, perhaps just going on a picnic? Make it "fancy" by making some wraps instead of sandwiches (tortillas & lunchmeat are easy!) and perhaps a bottle of sparkling juice, instead of water bottles or sodas. We've also done date nights on Saturday afternoons and spent nothing walking through model homes and pointing at all the things we'd keep or change. Sometimes, I'm just thankful for the times we're together driving around not hearing "Mommy...Mommy...MOMMY!" coming from the backseat (not that I don't love it, but you know what I mean!) Also, I don't know when they start in your area, but street fairs are fun to go to...the arts/crafts type ones where they usually have car shows and bands playing and stuff? Just taking it easy and walking around looking at everything, listening to the band, watching funny-looking people...always a good time!
Oh, and as for the veggie thing - once it warms up, have you thought about starting a small vegetable garden? I'm sure that Jenny is at the age where she would LOVE to help - watering, raking, etc...even just a couple plants would help a ton - very little has to go into it in order to be able to reap the benefits of growing your own vegetables. Just a thought! Otherwise, we stick with frozen vegetables - usually the store brands can be found on sale for a great price and they retain the nutrients better than fresh (which can go bad) or canned (which are just not very good!), so it's a win-win in my book!
Thanks again for sharing your heart - it's encouraging to read it and challenges me in my thinking as well!
Heather
Just arrived from UBP -- you're right about it sometimes being better to spend more. I find that particularly true about my shoes -- cheap shoes hurt my whole body and wear out too fast. Better to invest in good shoes that keep me healthy and last for years.
As for date nights, we've started a neighborhood babysitting co-op -- do you have some friends with kids who are close by and willing to trade nights? It's a big help in cutting costs but still getting time out together.
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