Self-Sabotage

My devotions today were about this very topic... "self-sabotage". I'd never thought about it before. Let me get my devotional, as it puts it best...

Day 11 (from Praying for Purpose: for women)

How Do You Self-Sabotage?

Are you a saboteur? Self-sabotage means that you consciously or subconsciously obstruct your own productivity in order to underhandedly defeat a worthwhile endeavor. It's how you ensure that you will not be expected to complete God's plan for your life. Most women are not even aware that they are, at least occasionally, sabotaging their success.

Could this be your story? You don't exercise, thus causing health issues; you remain addicted to sugar and keep yourself tired and irritable; you are rash and impulsive, which results in poor, irreversible decisions. Or is this more like you? You compare yourself to others and end up feeling inadequate; you aim for perfection, which inevitably leads to failure; you allow your temper to rage out of control, producing guilt and shame. What about harboring a sense of entitlement, which fills you with pride? Do you stay up too late and act like a grouch the next day? Do you overindulge at meals and then get severely depressed about your weight gain? Do you choose to be disorganized and therefore wreak havoc in your life?

WOW!! Was this lesson for me!! (See highlighted portions above.) I never realized before how much my lack of self-discipline affects how I could be living! I could feel better and look better (eating better and exercising regularly), be less irritable and sleep better (intake less sugar & caffeine), have better moods & a better outlook on life (spend more time praying and reading/studying my Bible), feel like a better wife/mother (keep up with the household duties, spend time with my kids, etc), have better self-esteem (stop comparing myself to others constantly - be happy/content with who I am). Yeah, I needed this lesson to draw my attention to the fact that I am self-sabotaging my life, especially in light of my current descent into my dark, deep depression (which I am doing better with the past couple of days - thanks for the prayers).

Now, I need to figure out a way to make myself more self-disciplined, to live a better life. Any ideas?